Songs

My face is raining
My chest is frozen
Loss of control but
Nobody knows it
I love my body
On a good day
But I can feel it all slip slip slipping away
The corners of my mouth they lift on both sides
My throat is tight wish I could cry out all my insides
Cause sometimes I base my judgement of myself on
My own worst moments and it makes it hard to move on

But I waded into the stream of my consciousness
I found that it was cold then some hand reached out for me to hold
Curious I grabbed it and felt sensation like no other
I am my own best friend and I am my own best lover

My face is raining
I am alive now
The stupid shit that we put up with to survive now
If nobody's perfect why do I expect it
From myself my heart my body I need to protect it
I can't let nobody down even if they hurt me
I must defend my space and only do what serves me
Cause sometimes I base my judgement of myself on
My own worst moments and it makes earth hard to be on

But I waded into the stream of my consciousness
I found that it was cold then some hand reached out for me to hold
Curious I grabbed it and felt sensation like no other
I am my own best friend and I am my own best lover

Music was noise for some time my feet they lost touch for a hover
And how could I give myself to another
Music was noise for some time my feet they lost touch for a hover
And how could I give myself to another

But I waded into the stream of my consciousness
I found that it was cold then some hand reached out for me to hold
Curious I grabbed it and felt sensation like no other
I am my own best friend and I am my own best lover

Hung up on you like a sweater in a closet that you don’t seem to wear out anymore
I’m a tattoo you must’ve got when you had lost it but you just cover me up anymore
I don’t exist never did never will to you let’s cover it all up with a lie
I must admit I thought I’d climb to the top with you rather be solid on the bottom line

Cruel to me
I’ve been dancing around like a fool to the
Song I guess I made up
It tasted sweet nostalgic candy
On repeat like it’s romantic
No receipt for the point of no return

We burn the bridge at both ends for a distance between us that was already there from the start
Up from too deep too fast I got the bends stopped the vessels cut off all of the blood to my heart
Self-love essential to the way I want to live now I’m never gonna settle for anything else
For granted you took me and a fool you probably made my so now I think I’ll go be full of myself

Cruel to me
I’ve been dancing around like a fool to the
Song I guess I made up it tasted sweet nostalgic candy
On repeat like it’s romantic
No receipt for the point of no return

Needed to be alone
For a little while
Just a little while longer
It’s the aftermath of the storm
All the branches down
Needed to get a bit stronger

I want that simple kind of love
That kind where you smile back at me just as wide
And I don’t have to do a double take to know that you are by my side
I need that simple kind of trust
Hand holding on the same page kind of song
Only thinking about the rights and not the worries of what could go wrong
What could go wrong

I’m taking back my time from everybody who was wrong for me
Took long for me
To realize I should spend it with you
Don’t care about aesthetics and the photos
Life’s too precious
And they don’t know
Don’t need to know
What we do
What we do


Nobody likes the cold
The cold cold feeling
Of trying too hard for somebody who don’t try for you
Believe what we’ve all been told
That the only one who really has your back is you
But you came into my life honey right on cue

And now I’ve got that simple kind of love
That kind where you smile back at me just as wide
And I don’t have to do a double take to know that you are by my side
I’ve got that simple kind of trust
Hand holding on the same page kind of song
Only thinking about the rights and not the worries of what could go wrong
What could go wrong

I’m taking back my time from everybody who was wrong for me
Took long for me
To realize I should spend it with you
Don’t care about aesthetics and the photos
Life’s too precious
And they don’t know
Don’t need to know
What we do
What we do
I’m taking back my time from everybody who was wrong for me took long for me to realize I should spend it with you

Kiss me to your favorite songs
And not expect
Me to think
Tie an anchor to my feet
And not expect
Me to sink
They’ve always got the magic touch
And I’d expect nothing less
But in the end I’ve said to much
And with this heart
I make a mess

But I tend to trust the flawless
‘Til I get caught up in all this
‘Til we don’t know what to call this
So you just call it done
You don’t give me an explanation
Though I sit here waiting patient
And it gets me so frustrated
But to you it’s just for fun

Did you mean it
At all
You should’ve seen it
The way you made me fall
Would make anyone go crazy
Should’ve never let my guard down
In my head
I should’ve stayed home
But instead I
Walked the same damn trail
That I always do

Funny how to get someone to care
You have to act
Like you don’t
Cause once you show them that you do
Well in return
They simply won’t
All these records on the shelf
I spin them for their advice
You were only thinking of yourself
And about me you wouldn’t think twice
Oh no no no no

But I tend to trust the flawless
‘Til I get caught up in all this
‘Til we don’t know what to call this
So you just call it done
You don’t give me an explanation
Though I sit here waiting patient
And it gets me so frustrated
But to you it’s just for fun

Did you mean it
At all
You should’ve seen it
The way you made me fall
Would make anyone go crazy
Should’ve never let my guard down
In my head

Surrounded by relationships but I managed to keep my distance
I liked the idea of finding one but I always felt resistant
To fall too fast
And besides do they ever even last
I’m content with loneliness and I guess it’s what I’m used to
I watched them in their drama and I always refused to
Involve myself with that
Waste of time
But then I saw you
And you changed my point of view
You make me weak
I can’t even speak
You’ve got a way of making all those girls turn their heads
I walk passed you all the time so many things unsaid
And believe me boy I wish I didn’t like you like I do
But I can’t fight this feeling anymore
So this one’s for you

Me myself and I it’s been that way from the start
I’d rather fix a cup of tea than fix my broken heart
If it were to break
That’s a lot to put at stake

But then I saw you
And you changed my point of view
You make me weak
I can’t even speak
You’ve got a way of making all those girls turn their heads
I walk passed you all the time so many things unsaid
And believe me boy I wish I didn’t like you like I do
But I can’t fight this feeling anymore
So this one’s for you
But then I saw you
And you changed my point of view
You make me weak
I can’t even speak
You’ve got a way of making all those girls turn their heads
I walk passed you all the time so many things unsaid
And believe me boy I wish I didn’t like you like I do
But I can’t fight this feeling anymore
So this one’s for you

I’d rather hear a door slamming than silence
This silence so loud
I’d rather watch your face fall than stare at the same blank expression
I’d rather see the shadows of what it used to be than see nothing at all
I’d rather have a mess than an empty room

Time’s just an answer that we can’t accept
To these problems the reason why we haven't slept
And now I’m stuck

I’d rather go driving outside in this torrential downpour
Than live in this drought
There are some things we can’t live without

I read people front to back but you had me dyslexic
If love is like an innerstate you took the nearest exit
Hey kind eyes I never saw it coming
Told me blind lies than you took off running

Short time
Better than none I suppose
In this world of temporary feeling
Long time
It’ll take myself to compose
But until then just know your silence is revealing

Loving and leaving
Me somewhat believing
That I can handle the end of this
So I find strength in caving
Then I start misbehaving
Knowing I break once I bend like this
But it’s classic takes a sip and gets a buzz
And now I’m not who you thought I was

You had all these qualities about you that left me speechless
But then you send me all of these mixed signals I can’t read this
Oh baby why’d you have to go
Reasons I guess I will never know

Loving and leaving
Me somewhat believing
That I can handle the end of this
So I find strength in caving
Then I start misbehaving
Knowing I break once I bend like this
But it’s classic takes a sip and gets a buzz
And now I’m not who you thought I was

Thought I was thought I was
Well what did you think you were getting yourself into
I thought I was I really thought I was
Not making mistakes falling into you

I read people front to back
And then they give me heart attacks

Loving and leaving
Me somewhat believing
That I can handle the end of this
So I find strength in caving
Then I start misbehaving
Knowing I break once I bend like this
But it’s classic takes a sip and gets a buzz
You think I’d know by now what heartache does
But I’ll try again tomorrow just because

The mind can take you to a scary place
Where you see things you never dreamed you’d face
And out of all the memories I wish I could erase
Yours comes to mind
Have you ever looked into a dirty mirror
And suddenly it couldn’t be more clear
That in this whole wide world
your greatest fear is living inside

Of your head
It’s like reading a book that you already read
It plays over and over while you’re lying in your bed
And I can’t get to sleep so I stay awake instead
And I dread
How tired I’ll be in the morning

Everyday I try my best
To function fully on zero rest
And even though I couldn’t be more stressed
I still seem to find
A way to work it all out
Piling on things to think about
And when the day is done I highly doubt
I’ll have peace of mind

In my head
It’s like reading a book that you already read
It plays over and over while you’re lying in your bed
And I can’t get to sleep so I stay awake instead
And I dread
How tired I’ll be in the morning

Morning
Warning
I feel like I am already realizing
I’m driving my mind
Insane I can’t change the way that I feel right now
I wish I could
If only I knew someone who understood

In my head
It’s like reading a book that you already read
It plays over and over while you’re lying in your bed
And I can’t get to sleep so I stay awake instead
And I dread
How tired I’ll be in the morning

You were bad for me like the bleach in my hair
Struck a match and lit it thinking I wouldn’t care
When you blew it out weren’t ready for the fire
I was mad for him but he made me that way
With his special words and empty thoughts
But can you blame me
Don’t you know you made me feel admired

Now my stomach’s twisted up in knots
But I’ll pretend that I forgot
Just the way I felt before I wrote this
It’s obvious and clear to me
That you were never here for me
There’s no other way to sugarcoat this

But I wish I could laugh the way I laughed
And I wish I could feel the way I felt
And I wish I could sleep the way I slept
Before anyone had hurt me
I look at older pictures of myself
There’s a reason why I keep them on the shelf
Cause the girl inside looks so alive and well
I guess the bright side burnt me

She left me for her lover I was young and naive
And she had me underestimate what I could achieve
And now all that’s left are painted yellow cabinets
Never had to leave but she was adamant
Love looks pretty simple ‘til the floor falls through
Then all these weeds come up between the flowers you grew
Here’s my back hand you a knife to stab it

Now my stomachs twisted up in knots
But I’ll pretend that I forgot
Just the way I felt before I met you
Now I’ll keep moving terrified
Cause sharks keep swimming or they’ll die
Just a pointless effort to forget you

But I wish I could laugh the way I laughed
And I wish I could feel the way I felt
And I wish I could sleep the way I slept
Before anyone had hurt me
I look at older pictures of myself
There’s a reason why I keep them on the shelf
Cause the girl inside looks so alive and well
I guess the bright side burnt me

I don’t have a right to feel the way I feel
You never gave me a reason to be hurting
And everything’s telling me I should walk away
But what I feel for you makes me want to stay

But as I tried to read you
I began to need you
But you didn’t want that kind of thing
I remember getting nervous
Thinking I didn’t deserve this
Happiness
If only I knew the sadness it would bring
In the end
I’ll pretend
I’m okay

I’ve got a lot to say but it hurts too much to write
So I sleep through the day and stare blankly through the night
You don’t need me I bet you sleep just fine
So now I’ll take a shot for everytime I never crossed your mind

And then I’ll beat myself up
For thinking this is more than it was
I’m not mad at you
I’m completely to blame
Your love no longer concerns me
It’s my own flame that has burned me
Close your eyes
I’ll slowly fade away
And in the end
I’ll pretend
I’m okay

I care too much
And I always do
And I’ll always have a weakness for you
So you take your time
Go your own way
I’ll just be here
And maybe someday

We could be
We could be beautiful
We could be
We could be something more
Better than before
But for now I’ll close the door
And you can’t deny
This unsaid chemistry
So I’ll just forget
And try to find serenity

I need to get
Get a grip
But everytime I grasp
My hands always slip
It’s getting dark
It’s time to go home
I miss how it felt
To not be alone

We could be
We could be beautiful
We could be
We could be something more
Better than before
But for now I’ll close the door
And you can’t deny
This unsaid chemistry
So I’ll just forget
And try to find serenity

Blinded by what was wrong when what was right was right in front of me
Blinded by what was wrong when what was right was right in front of me
Too late so I’ll sit back and watch him be happy


We could be
We could be beautiful
We could be
We could be something more
Better than before
But for now I’ll close the door
And you can’t deny
This unsaid chemistry
So I’ll just forget
And try to find serenity